How to be Triclops for dummies...

Hilarious! From Nonsense Records blog:



HOW TO BE A BACKPACKER (FOR DUMMIES)

So you wake up one day and realize your taste in music sucks. And obviously, that means you suck as well. You're tired, frustrated, hopelessly unhip, and you're very sick of your Winamp playlist. But wait...... before you pull that trigger, consider this.

You need hip hop and you need it fast.

For your sake, I've set up a "How to be a backpacker" kit that's so easy, virtually anybody can do it. Don't worry. You'll be in touch with the little b-boy inside of you in no time. After this kit, you'll be keeping it so real that only other backpackers will understand a word you spit. So what are we waiting for? Let's begin.

A good backpacker is neck deep in underground hip hop records. Here's some to get you started:

Aceyalone - Accepted Eclectic

Mystik Journeymen - Black Sands ov Eternia

Cannibal Ox - The Cold Vein

Anticon - Music for the Advancement of Hip Hop

Quasimoto - The Unseen

Atmosphere - Overcast

7l & Esoteric - The Soul Purpose


Start with these. Then supplement with some Aesop Rock, Buck 65, Solesides, Mr. Lif, and perhaps even a little Planet Asia. Throw in some a Kool Keith record for good measure and you're set.

Frat boys are starting to claim they're about the "real" hip hop. Show them who's boss by flaunting your superior tastes while STILL listening to all of their . Here's some of their favorites:

Jurassic 5 - Quality Control

Deltron 3030 (anything by Del)

The Roots - Things Fall Apart

Mos Def - Black on Both Sides

Common - Like Water for Chocolate

Dilated Peoples - The Platform LP

Reflection Eternal - Train of Thought

Method Man / Redman - Blackout


Bonus Credit: Try obtaining some tapes of local artists nobody knows about. This will be your secret weapon.

So now you've got your base. But you still look like a little new-jack. Pick up some certified hip hop classics to boost your credibility. People will think you've been in the game for years. Backpacker approved classics:

Nas - Illmatic

Company Flow - Funcrusher Plus

Wu Tang Clan - Enter the 36 Chambers

De la Soul - 3 Feet High and Rising

A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory

Pete Rock / CL Smooth - Mecca and the Soul Brother

Jeru tha Damaja - The Sun Rises in the East

Freestyle Fellowship - To Whom it May Concern

Gang Starr - Daily Operation

Feeling brave? If you're ambitious, you can take things even further. Convince 'em you were there in the beginning with these:

BDP - Criminal Minded

Public Enemy - It'll Take a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back

NWA - Straight Outta Compton

Ultramagnetic MCs - Critical Beatdown

Run DMC - Raising Hell

Erik B. & Rakim - Paid in Full

Bonus Credit: Tell people you're from the Bronx. Tell them about Kool Herc, Bambataa, and Flash. You were there. Make them believe it.

(Know your elements)

There are a few more things you must learn before you blossom into a backpacker. Without delay, here you have it:

- If anybody asks, your favorite producers are Primo, Pete Rock, Automator, Prince Paul, and the RZA (but emphasize that you only like pre-Wu-tang-Forever RZA).

- You must learn to speak like a backpacker. Pepper your language with "knowmsayin" and refer to as many things as possible as "". You'll have to be patient. Try recording your voice and comparing it to some Busta Rhymes skits. Practice makes perfect.

- Wear T-shirts, hooded sweatshirts, baggy jeans (not too baggy. you do not want to crossover into raver pants territory), and lots of hats and visors. Walk with a slight limp and never smile.

- Have diversity on your side. Backpackers get eclectic with Portishead, Esthero, Radiohead, DJ Shadow, and Amon Tobin. You can say your girl/boyfriend got you into it.

- You must like at least one Jay-Z album. It is a backpacker's obligation. This will save your when people claim you are an elitist snob.

- Smoke lots of weed.

So there you have it. It's really much easier than it sounds. If it helps, try setting a few hours aside each day to practice hip hop. Refer to UndergroundHipHop.com and read Ego Trip's Book of Rap Lists. Go to shows, write some lyrics, learn to beatbox, get some 1200s. Learn about the elements and assimilate yourself into them. Quiz your friends and laugh at their ignorance. Confidence won't be so slippery much longer. Remember... hip hop is a way of life, and now you've got the shortcuts.

If you need further assistance... try to Discover Hip hop.